You Might Not Be Who You Think You Are
“I have written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’”
Sometimes, ignorance can be bliss, and other times – it can be a misery. There are numerous things I don’t know, but I keep learning everyday. Anyway, moving on (This article is not just about me, it’s about every one of us.)
Recently, I invited a friend to speak on our podcast and she decided to talk about Impostor syndrome because it was something she struggled with. In my mind, I asked myself “What is that?” Immediately, I set to work because you know – I cannot invite someone to speak on a subject I absolutely have no clue about! So, for our readers who are just like me, I will share what I found with you.
According to our famous Wikipedia, Impostor syndrome is “a psychological pattern in which one doubts one’s accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud.” Apparently, this is just the mind playing tricks on you! But let’s be clear, Impostor syndrome is not a mental disorder; it is a reaction to particular stimuli and events. This phenomenon has been linked to perfectionism, so it might not really be about low self esteem.
If you have said some of the things below to yourself, you may have been exposed to the famous Impostor syndrome:
• “I feel like a fake.” Impostors don’t believe they deserve recognition for their achievements. They fear they will be “discovered” because they think they give others a false notion that they are more adequate than they really are. They don’t believe they deserve some “accolades.”
• “I was lucky.” Impostors tend to believe that their achievements are tied to luck and other external factors. They think anyone can achieve the same thing they have, and it was just a matter of sheer luck, or having a good support system that got them to where they are.
If you have identified with this syndrome, don’t lose hope. Here’s how to deal with it:
1. Be aware of the feelings as they become apparent. You have to be aware of those feelings and acknowledge them. This is the first step.
2. Talk about it. We all need a great support system – friends and loved ones, maybe even a therapist. We need to discuss our feelings to understand them and get the help we need. No man is an island.
3. Be kind to yourself. You need to know that everyone makes mistakes, and no one is perfect. Forgive yourself when you do realize your mistakes, and keep it moving. You should also remember your wins and celebrate.
4. Don’t be afraid to fail. We learn when we fail. You should understand the reasons for your failure so you can avoid such errors next time.
5. Run your own race. Never compare yourself to anyone else. No two journeys are ever the same. As T. Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
I hope these tips have been helpful. Feel free to dig a little deeper during your leisure time.
Catch you later!