Let That Friendship Go!
“Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.”– Washington Irving
True friendship is a gift from God! It is also rare and beautiful, so if you find a true friend, hold on tight and never let go! A true friend should encourage growth, uplift your spirit, be a listening ear, a voice of reason, trustworthy, and loyal. Being a true friend requires a lot of work, but it is also rewarding. If you discover your friend falls short of these qualities, RUN!! You need to make sure that friendship isn’t choking you!
An article from Oprahmag (link at the end of this post), gave an insight into the signs of an “unhealthy” or “toxic” friendship, and some of them include:
1. JEALOUSY: When you feel like you’re constantly in competition with your friend, or they are disparaging your achievements, or anything you are struggling with, you need to check out as soon as possible. There’s a thin line between jealousy and envy, and you should know when to walk away.
2. CRITICISM: If your friend always criticizes whatever you do, makes you feel like you’re doing everything wrong, and then you start to doubt yourself – it’s time to let that friendship go!
3. LACK OF TRUST: If you have a friend you cannot confide in, it’s time to check out.
4. WALKING ON EGGSHELLS: If you have a friend you have to tiptoe around all the time, constantly trying not to hurt their feelings, and always putting their needs, it’s definitely time to let that friendship go.
5. DRAMARAMA: When you have that dramatic friend, who blows everything out of proportion, and makes you think it’s your fault… errrr…. that’s another word for toxic. But don’t get me wrong, a little drama is normal, but if it is consistent, and you’re always sucked into it, it’s definitely time to check out.
6. SPURIOUS: If you feel like your friend is constantly trying to make you into someone they want you to be, rather than letting you be who you really are, it’s clear they only like the idea of you, and not the “real” you, so it’s better to keep it moving. There’s nothing like being authentic and finding people who love you for you.
The list is endless, but I think these are major signs that are easy to identify, and should make you rethink that friendship. It may seem difficult, especially if it’s a friend you’ve built memories with, and letting go of the friendship does not mean you have to keep malice, or never speak to them again. It just means that you have to set boundaries and make your mental health your priority. A little detoxification is more helpful than harmful.
But I also need to add this – check yourself too! You need to make sure you are not that toxic friend, and if you are, you should work on being a better person. We don’t want to throw stones when we live in glasshouses. After all, no one is perfect!